Summer school, of a sort
Just after my son’s eleventh birthday I wrote about my plans to prepare him for and launch him into his teen years. I’m actually going to do it. I am starting this summer by enrolling him in the Jeff Gill School of Theology and Design. He will be the only student.
He likes design. He designs with Lego and pen and paper and animation software and Photoshop and bits of stuff out in the garden. He has one of those non-stop creative brains. But reading is not a big thing with him. I’ve never heard him remark casually, I’m going to go read my bible for an hour.
So what I’m going to do is combine his love for creating with my design skills and the book of Romans. Each weekday morning this summer I will give him a design assignment that is based on a concept in Romans. In the evenings we will evaluate the work together from both a scriptural and design perspective. There will be a blog.
I’ve chosen Romans because in his group he is already going through Genesis on Friday nights and the life of Jesus on Sunday mornings.
If all goes well, he will finish the summer with a solid understanding of the work of Christ in him and he will have a head start on a creative career. I am so excited about this!
22 June 2009 Jeff Gill
tags: parenting,
youth
Rite of Passage
The Boy himself dressed for Red Nose Day festivities at school.
My son turned 11 yesterday, which got me thinking about how soon he would be a teenager, which got me thinking about what a rotten job our culture does helping children turn into adults.
It’s not that we don’t love our kids. We do. We almost turn them into little gods and goddesses. We offer them lavish sacrifices of electronics and bicycles and baby dolls and Lego. We pray sincere prayers to them daily to keep them pacified and turn away their wrath. (‘Just do what daddy, says and I will give you a special treat afterwards.’) But the one thing we don’t really know how to do is help them grow up.
Two years ago I wrote a post about what we have lost. Now that he is only two years away from the magical age of 13, I need to start putting my thoughts into action.
So here are some rough thoughts I have about a rite of passage for my son:
Preparation
I want him to know what it means to be a godly man, the challenges the choices, the rewards. I want him to understand that the teen years are the time when he will become a man, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I want him to understand growing up as one of the greatest, most fun adventures of life. I want him to come to his teen years with a strong foundation of what it means to follow Jesus and what God has done for us through Jesus’ life, death and resurrection.
This is going to take some time. I think I need to get busy now.
Ceremony
This is a big deal. A party with some friends and a badge to pin on isn’t going to cut it. Judaism has the Bar and Bat Mitzvah (son or daughter of the commandment). Seeing as our faith has its roots with the Jews, I can probably get some inspiration there.
From Wikipedia:‘According to Jewish law, when Jewish children reach the age of majority (generally thirteen years for boys and twelve for girls) they become responsible for their actions, and “become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah”… This also coincides with physical puberty. Prior to this, the child’s parents are responsible for the child’s adherence to Jewish law and tradition and, after this age, children bear their own responsibility for Jewish ritual law, tradition, and ethics and are privileged to participate in all areas of Jewish community life.’
I want his birthday to be marked by a ceremony of significance with people from many generations taking part. Beyond that, I’m not sure what it should be. I have a whole list in my head of things it shouldn’t be, but there’s no reason to list them now.
Affirmation
Here’s one thing I know I want. I want a bunch of people from our community, in and out of church to talk to him, about his value as unique person. The teen years are a time of launching out into the unknown. So much is new. So much has never been experienced before. So much of it happens alone in the mind of a teenager. How much richer and exciting will this period of exploration and failure and triumph be for him if he knows that all around him is a community that values him for who he is!
Vision
Of course too many warm fuzzies will kill a person. That’s why I want to give him something to strive for, a challenge from his family and community to not avoid the things that are hard, the things that require ‘taking up your cross’ like Jesus, because that is where he will find his life. I want him to have a vision of a life that matters.
Challenge
Finally, I would like to kick off his teenage years with a challenge. I want something that will stretch him physically, mentally and spiritually. Something fun, but hard too. Something that will give him a sense of accomplishment when he completes it. Something that benefits others. Something he and I can do together. Something that lasts about a week.
I don’t know what direction my son’s life will take, but I am confident that he will get there in better shape if Christine and I can reclaim the lost genius of the rite of passage.
18 March 2009 Jeff Gill
tags: children,
parenting,
youth
Why teenagers can't see your point of view
Cut them some slack – it’s because their brains are still developing.
9 February 2009 Jeff Gill
tags: youth
The Mustang 2 (2 as in Part 2, not the crummy 70s version of the car)
Here is the ‘Word of Faith’ version of how I got my Mustang.
My dad used to restore and sell Ford Mustangs, so as a young teenager I loved Mustangs and wanted one for my first car. I wanted a 1966 Honey Gold Fastback (2+2). I found a photo of one that looked just like what I wanted, and I hung it up in my bedroom. I asked God for that car, and I began to thank him for it every day.
My dad was pretty sure that I couldn’t afford a fastback for my first car. He said that I should buy and restore an ordinary six cylinder ’65 or ’66, sell it, take the profit, do it again, and then get my fastback. He knew what he was talking about too; Mustangs were the way he made a lot of his money.
I wasn’t having any of that. I hated working on cars and wanted to do as little of that as possible. Also, a year before I had given my life savings (about $500) to a friend to help pay for her Teen Mania mission trip. I had a claim on God for a lot of money. I could see the car, and it was mine.
Before too long my dad came across a 1965 fastback that looked pretty rough, but had a good body and engine. Almost simultaneously, he came across a wrecked 1965 coupe with a nearly new interior. Both for a reasonable price. To top it off, when we looked at the VIN code, we found that the original colour of the fastback was Honey Gold!
I prayed. I believed. I confessed. I got my car.
This is the appropriate place to insert ‘HALLELUJAH!’
Now here is the rest of the story.
1. I was claiming a 1966 Mustang. I got a 1965.
2. I was also after the oh-so-desirable styled steel wheels and fog lamps. I didn’t get those.
3. It didn’t just happen. Even though my dad didn’t think I could afford the car I was after, he was still looking for it.
4. My dad is very generous. He gave me the $1,500 profit from another car he fixed and sold.
5. He and I both put a huge amount of hot, greasy, sweaty time turning those two cars into one really great first car.
This is the point I want to make.
It is easy to tell a story like it is a triumph of good confession. It is easy to call something a miracle. It is easy to reduce all the hard work and human ingenuity that goes into a success to a breezy little sentence that no one notices. It is easy to get the impression that all you need to do to get what you want in life is to think the right thing and say the right thing.
The truth is that most ‘miracles’ involve an awful lot of hard work and sacrifice.
Finally.
I am very grateful for my time with that car. I am very grateful to God for making a universe that somehow responds to our faith. I am very grateful that my parents taught me to be bold and go after the things that I believe God wants for me. Most of all, I am grateful for my dad’s love and sacrifice that made my confessing and claiming look so good.
26 August 2008 Jeff Gill
tags: faith,
humans,
money,
youth
Hi, School!
This is a little event we do for students moving out of junior school and into secondary school. (For those of you outside the UK, this happens at age 11.) We’ve just finished our promo video. A short version may come later.
You can see the video in high definition and download the original 102 MB Quicktime movie on Vimeo, which is kind of cool.
27 June 2008 Jeff Gill
tags: children,
i61,
silly,
video,
youth
Essential reading for youth ministers
Design project deadlines and Easter deadlines are keeping me from writing the ten blog posts in my head and adding a new section to the site. Nevermind. In the meantime, all people who are involved with church and teenagers must read this blog: Once a Youth Pastor
Personal experience in youth ministry shows me that the #1 indicator of a teen’s spiritual longevity and commitment is the degree to which parents are involved in their kid’s spiritual development. The #2 indicator is the degree in which a teen connects with an older spiritual mentor outside the youth group.
Got it? #1 is parents. #2 is mentors. That’s the starting point for the reasoning that follows.
Now, what do most churches with “effective” youth ministries do? They hire a youth pastor.
I’ve come to believe that this is one of the biggest barriers to #1 and #2 happening! That’s right. In most places, the presence of a youth pastor is the biggest barrier to overcome.
Also related are these two articles that Christine and I wrote about a year ago: Community and Youth ministry is broken, but should we fix it?
17 March 2008 Jeff Gill
tags: blogging,
church,
youth
Youth Ministry is broken, but should we fix it?
Youth ministry as it is practiced today (in North America and the UK, at least) is a failed experiment. I’m not the first person to say this. Mike Yaconelli, who was a major youth ministry guru in the USA, said it back in 2003. A lot of other people have been saying it too…
Keep reading
13 February 2007 Jeff Gill
tags: church,
youth