Summer school, of a sort
Just after my son’s eleventh birthday I wrote about my plans to prepare him for and launch him into his teen years. I’m actually going to do it. I am starting this summer by enrolling him in the Jeff Gill School of Theology and Design. He will be the only student.
He likes design. He designs with Lego and pen and paper and animation software and Photoshop and bits of stuff out in the garden. He has one of those non-stop creative brains. But reading is not a big thing with him. I’ve never heard him remark casually, I’m going to go read my bible for an hour.
So what I’m going to do is combine his love for creating with my design skills and the book of Romans. Each weekday morning this summer I will give him a design assignment that is based on a concept in Romans. In the evenings we will evaluate the work together from both a scriptural and design perspective. There will be a blog.
I’ve chosen Romans because in his group he is already going through Genesis on Friday nights and the life of Jesus on Sunday mornings.
If all goes well, he will finish the summer with a solid understanding of the work of Christ in him and he will have a head start on a creative career. I am so excited about this!
22 June 2009 Jeff Gill
tags: parenting,
youth
Rite of Passage
The Boy himself dressed for Red Nose Day festivities at school.
My son turned 11 yesterday, which got me thinking about how soon he would be a teenager, which got me thinking about what a rotten job our culture does helping children turn into adults.
It’s not that we don’t love our kids. We do. We almost turn them into little gods and goddesses. We offer them lavish sacrifices of electronics and bicycles and baby dolls and Lego. We pray sincere prayers to them daily to keep them pacified and turn away their wrath. (‘Just do what daddy, says and I will give you a special treat afterwards.’) But the one thing we don’t really know how to do is help them grow up.
Two years ago I wrote a post about what we have lost. Now that he is only two years away from the magical age of 13, I need to start putting my thoughts into action.
So here are some rough thoughts I have about a rite of passage for my son:
Preparation
I want him to know what it means to be a godly man, the challenges the choices, the rewards. I want him to understand that the teen years are the time when he will become a man, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I want him to understand growing up as one of the greatest, most fun adventures of life. I want him to come to his teen years with a strong foundation of what it means to follow Jesus and what God has done for us through Jesus’ life, death and resurrection.
This is going to take some time. I think I need to get busy now.
Ceremony
This is a big deal. A party with some friends and a badge to pin on isn’t going to cut it. Judaism has the Bar and Bat Mitzvah (son or daughter of the commandment). Seeing as our faith has its roots with the Jews, I can probably get some inspiration there.
From Wikipedia:‘According to Jewish law, when Jewish children reach the age of majority (generally thirteen years for boys and twelve for girls) they become responsible for their actions, and “become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah”… This also coincides with physical puberty. Prior to this, the child’s parents are responsible for the child’s adherence to Jewish law and tradition and, after this age, children bear their own responsibility for Jewish ritual law, tradition, and ethics and are privileged to participate in all areas of Jewish community life.’
I want his birthday to be marked by a ceremony of significance with people from many generations taking part. Beyond that, I’m not sure what it should be. I have a whole list in my head of things it shouldn’t be, but there’s no reason to list them now.
Affirmation
Here’s one thing I know I want. I want a bunch of people from our community, in and out of church to talk to him, about his value as unique person. The teen years are a time of launching out into the unknown. So much is new. So much has never been experienced before. So much of it happens alone in the mind of a teenager. How much richer and exciting will this period of exploration and failure and triumph be for him if he knows that all around him is a community that values him for who he is!
Vision
Of course too many warm fuzzies will kill a person. That’s why I want to give him something to strive for, a challenge from his family and community to not avoid the things that are hard, the things that require ‘taking up your cross’ like Jesus, because that is where he will find his life. I want him to have a vision of a life that matters.
Challenge
Finally, I would like to kick off his teenage years with a challenge. I want something that will stretch him physically, mentally and spiritually. Something fun, but hard too. Something that will give him a sense of accomplishment when he completes it. Something that benefits others. Something he and I can do together. Something that lasts about a week.
I don’t know what direction my son’s life will take, but I am confident that he will get there in better shape if Christine and I can reclaim the lost genius of the rite of passage.
18 March 2009 Jeff Gill
tags: children,
parenting,
youth
I like Claire Richards
She runs parenting courses for Conwy Education Services, and she is a teacher. The courses are great. Christine and I went to one in 2006 and it helped us bring much more peace into our home and effectiveness into our leadership as parents.
The problem with the courses is that hardly anyone goes to them. Maybe not enough people know about them? Maybe there is a perceived stigma with attending a parenting course?
We know that that kind of stigma is silly. In no other part of life (except for maybe within the slacker crowd at high school) would you be stigmatised for wanting to get better at what you do. But calling stigma silly doesn’t get parents onto your course.
Claire knows that. Instead of shouting at the status quo…
Keep reading
23 October 2008 Jeff Gill
tags: change,
community,
leadership,
north wales,
parenting
We ate apples and oranges for breakfast four days a week
My mother believed in eating healthful food. When I was a boy I fantasized about having my tonsils removed because they gave you ice cream after the operation.
19 June 2008 Jeff Gill
tags: parenting,
stories
Frantic five minutes
I had to leave. It was time to go. The daughter would be getting out of school in less than 15 minutes and I couldn’t find the stupid car keys. Where were they?
Where were they?
There weren’t in there and they weren’t under there and they weren’t behind there and they were completely gone and had ceased to exist and I was gonna have to get a taxi or something and I’d be so so incredibly late and the teacher would give me that look again. And I’d feel ashamed. I am a rotten mother because I do not put my keys away properly in a place where I can find them and my children suffer because of it. There she would be, the 4 year old daughter, standing in the cold and not knowing if I would ever come. A stiff wind would blow to dry the tears that fell…
I said to God, “Father!”, I said, “Help me find the keys, please, I need to know where they are or there will be much suffering” (this is the extended version of what I said)
And in desperation I raised my hand to my head like a damsel in one of those old, silent movies… and the keys were in my hand.
Now. What have we learned today ?
22 February 2008 Christine Gill
tags: parenting,
prayer,
shame,
silly,
stories