Shame on you! And while I'm at it, let me give you some condemnation and rejection as well
10 February 2008 Jeff Gill
In my experience, there are a number of life issues and sins-that-so-easily-beset-us that the evangelical church really stinks at addressing. We’re good at inspirational messages about How To Succeed and How To Get Over It (and those are often useful and necessary). We are very good at shock and shame and savagery when people Don’t Succeed and Don’t Get Over It. But we are not so good at teaching people How To Fail, nor are we very good at coming alongside the failures among us and walking with them into success. We are really bad at understanding Getting Over It and what an ordeal that actually is.
One of the things that I appreciate about Pete Rollins and his gang over at Ikon is that one of their five self-descriptive words is failing. That’s kind of refreshing.
I don’t believe that failure is something to aspire to, but it is a universal part of human existence. That means the kingdom of God can transform it. That also means the church should be involved in it.
So to try to get us out of the fog of non-specificity that is my first paragraph, here are some questions to think about:
Can the men (and women) in your church talk freely with each other about their struggles with pornography?
Do couples in your church with marriage problems feel the freedom to ask for help before they reach a crisis point?
Are people suffering loss surrounded by people who ‘weep with those who weep’ or by platitudes? And what if they are still grieving after a whole month?
Do people know before they fail that the best and safest place to be after they Really Blow It is with their fellow followers of Jesus?
What happens when you pray for depressed people and they don’t get better?
How does your church put Romans 8:1 into practice?
In practice, is sin addressed through a lens of shame or grace in your church?
These are just a few questions highlighting some of the things We Don’t Do in church. (I’m speaking generally and painting with a broad brush!) Do you have more questions to add? Does your church actually handle any of these types of things really well? Do tell us about it.
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tags: church,
failure,
grief,
humans,
leadership,
shame
Things being said about Shame on you! And while I'm at it, let me give you some condemnation and rejection as well
On 10 February 2008 Jeff Gill wrote:
One of the things that i61 (my church) does well I think is helps people with money – I forgot to mention that one in my post. My pastor does a brilliant financial workshop. The things that I think makes it so good are:
__He is very open about his past financial distresses.
__He does not offer and quick fixes. (You know the typical ones – just give more money to God and everything will be sorted out in a couple weeks.)
__There are at least two of us in the church with whom he has spent time helping us get things in order.
__The help is there before problems turn into crises. (Of course, I, like most people, wiated for a crisis before I got serious about sorting things. But I knew that I didn’t have to.)
I really would like to read about how your churches are handling some of these taboo subjects!